It would be careless to throw a blanket statement on an entire group of people and say we're all the same. We're not. And we've made a long exploration of our differences this month. We are wildly, uniquely, drastically NOT the same. When we stand in a room full of women we won't likely see another face or body that looks just like us. Which makes it odd that we spend a large amount of time comparing ourselves to one another. We are so different, friends.
But, here's the kicker, we ARE the same. We're the same because, under our different textures and shades and flavors, we're all women. We have lived in the light of day, crawled through the grief of night, spent hours thinking about how we can better our lives, our hearts, our bodies. We read the same magazines, write the same words, feel the same sting of scarcity and long for the same sense of abundance. We've felt strong emotions and we've even let them spill into words. We've loved hard and we've lost plenty. We've carried one another and we've walked alone. We've gone hunting for approval and we've spent quiet moments being nourished by solitude.
We are in life with one another like no one else ever can be. There is nothing like a friend who is a sister. What another woman can bring to the table is unlike anything else in all of creation. We were designed for sisterhood; the kind of sisterhood that celebrates our different-same. We were made to fill rooms with laughter and to wrap our arms around one another when we need to weep. It's in the deepest corners of our design. We were made for relationship. We were made for the deep kind of friendship that bolsters and strengthens us.
Which is why it's so hard for us to find it. We're so prone to withholding. It just doesn't always come easily to us. Our hearts live and breathe for the kind of community that builds us up into who we were meant to be, but in our fear of difference we run for the hills. We let the lie that being different will make us NOT the same, keep us from our greatest gift.
You need a friend, sister. You need someone to live life with. Heck, you need A LOT of friends. You need a group of women who will balance out your different with their same. You need people with different skills and strengths and gifts to bring balance to your own makeup. You need it and they need you.
If you're wasting your heart on fear - letting it tell you that no one will enter in with you because you're too much or not enough - it's time to take a leap. It's time to seek out healthy friendships with women who want what you want. It's time to grow. Now's the time to stop obsessing over how different you are and to start celebrating that we are all the different-same (Aunt Holly, please ignore the fact that I'm making up a word. I promise it's for the best).
*Today's challenge? Plan a date with your girlfriends. You need each other.