I don't like parenting labels. I think it's icky that we have to draw up separate camps to define who we are as parents. Is there something wrong with attachment parenting coexisting with highly scheduled parenting? For some reason mamas are quick to defend the style they have chosen and it tends to get ugly. Dude. We are all just learning. Every single one of us has to raise our children based on their individual needs. My kids won't need what your kids need. And there's no reason to get huffy about it! Let's just say that love is what makes the world go 'round. If you're loving your kid, you're doing it right.
I, personally, am not a cry-it-outer. The words "Baby Wise" make me cringe. I truly just don't like the concept. It doesn't work for me. The idea of making my 6 week old baby cry alone makes me feel sick to my stomach. I can't stand the idea of NOT comforting her when she cries.
I probably look crazy to those of you who have had your kids sleeping through the night before 3 months. I nurse or rock Daisy to sleep. I hold her and lay with her. I have less freedom, less time alone because of it. But I know it won't last forever and I really don't mind. It's the decision I have made for my own life and my own baby. I honestly, 100% do NOT judge mamas who choose to cry it out. In fact some of my best friends have very successfully created a scheduled sleep time for their babies (who often cry it out) and (gasp!) their kids are happy and loved. There is no emotional scarring. Their kids are content and seem to enjoy their naptimes.
We also co-sleep. Yep. We love it. There is no better place for my baby than all snuggled up next to me. When Joe gets in bed late at night Daisy will almost always roll over to put her little hand on his back. She knows he's there and, even in her sleep, she responds to him. Aravis and Judah both slept with us when they were little and they both just gradually transitioned into their own beds in their own time. It was the most natural experience for all of us and I have never regretted it.
I get it. We all make different choices. We all want to do what is BEST for our children. We do everything we can to ensure their freedom and their security. Because we love our kids we pave a way. It becomes our way and we truly believe it is the best way. But it doesn't make another parent's way wrong. Children should be loved. They should know they are loved before and above all else. All these other things aren't important. Just do your best. I'll do my best. We all just keep loving our kids and hope that they always know we did everything we could to create a beautiful life for them.
If we can stop despising each other for our differences we will do our children a service. They will learn to love others, even when their ways are different. Isn't that what we want for our kids? Isn't that the only real request Jesus has made of us? Love God. Love people.
Let's try to put aside the snarky comments and the self-righteous opinions. Let's make respecting other people's lifestyles and parenting choices a part of our way. Maybe then we will discover that our ways are actually very very similar.